It’s been a bit since I discussed the USCG and what it means to be on this journey as a military spouse and family. It’s like I’ve had some other things on my mind or something?!
Even as I was typing that last part I had trouble not laughing. Here’s why…
I’ve been exhausted with emotions about our upcoming billets. I can’t say there is a day that goes by that I don’t think about or wonder if we will get that call and find out where we will be moving come the spring. Just as I can’t go a day without thinking about BRCA and my surgeries.
The difference? Control.
100% the reason the stress of BRCA isn’t getting me down, unlike the next billet we’ll be receiving from the Coast Guard. Seriously, I have taken control of this gene by getting the surgeries and so while there is still uncertainty with recovery and the final process I know I have a say in how things potentially go.
The billets? Well we had the lovely ‘Dream Sheet’ that I mentioned we put in a few months back. However, ultimately it’s the needs of the service over the dream sheet. I had a lot of hope for awhile there, our chances looked great to get our No. 1 pick and then…well, Military Life happened. We saw a round of billets get divvied out and some major curve balls.
Now, I sit here back at square one…just wishing that we hadn’t gotten our hopes up, that flight school hadn’t made it feel like if we checked these certain boxes we’d have an easy in. The disappointment with two billets at our No. 1 location being given away, and not even being in the running for them time wise due to the delay with my surgery and flight school schedule miscommunications really put a damper on my attitude.
I have to constantly remind myself that in the end this decision isn’t ours. That the stressors that I’ve struggled so much with in this Military Life are still there. That it could be Atlantic City or it could be Mobile Alabama…heck it could have been Puerto Rico – although it looks like we will be making visits there anyways to visit Chryslos. To that – I am super proud of the positive attitudes that have transpired since you’ve been given your little less than ideal location. It will be an adventure!
It will always be an adventure – I’d just like it to be a little less stress and a little more fun. I know, this sounds like a ‘me’ problem. But, my Military Spouses out there have to know what I mean. In the end, we did sign up for this – but in the end, it’s still my life and I’d like for it to go a little more my way.
My Point – as I ramble on about being a Military Spouse when it comes to locations and billets?
I’m simply hopeful – because I can only be that – that we get to a city. I’m ready to finish up my second phase of surgery and get focused on my career stepping forward. Pensacola has been a dream come true for Joshua as he learns to fly helicopters – it’s been less than desirable for me. BUT, I’ve been where I needed to be and being situated so close to The Center makes me thankful. It made the decision to travel for my surgery much easier being only a 3 hour drive away. So I have to think – this all worked out.
Until – my next Military Spouse mental breakdown, as I wait to be told where we will be living for the next 4-5 years…
i hear it’s sunnier…
…when you try to balance control and spontaneity!
**Photo Cred: The most talented Sarah MacFarlane